number: disgusting

Tomorrow I am co-hosting a Pampered Chef Party (yay!).

So, I have been cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, etc. today.

I have to admit, I am exhausted.

But, despite the fact that I am exhausted I just looked into my microwave just to check to see if it needed some cleaning.

This is what I saw:

Yes, disgusting.

I became horrified with the thought of someone opening up my microwave tomorrow and thinking, "Sick, this girl lives in a barn!"

I can't have the judgement placed upon me.

I immediately grabbed the Windex, my cleaner of choice in all situations just like on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and starting hosing the sucker down.

My microwave is now clean.

So, you can come over whenever you like and look in my microwave.

I dare you.

...until next time...

number: tuesdays with marinara

Tuesday morning was the morning from a not so nice place.

Tuesday morning marked a significant memory for me.

And here's how:

Actually, I awoke still elated from meeting the Pioneer Woman.

I was happy! I couldn't wait to jump in the shower and get ready to go to work.

I then did my hair and make-up.

I was on time. No, I was early- something I am not very often.

Then these three characters walked in:

Here's what happened:

I walked into the kitchen in my bathrobe to get my clothes out of the dryer.

But then I thought, "Hey, why not get my food ready? Then I can get my clothes and be even earlier." I think this was Diablo speaking. He usually likes to say things like this when mornings are looking so high up you can see the heavens.

So, I open my pantry to get this breakfast of champions:

Only the bag was a bit more full at the time.

I greedily pulled out the cereal to put in its travel container only to knock over this:

I watched in slow motion as the 26-ounce jar of marinara spiraled out of control.

There it was just spinning while I watched dumbfounded and hung on to that giant bag of under-priced cereal...there it was...just a jar...floating in air...

Aaaaannnddd then it shattered into a million pieces on my lovely tile floor.

Needless to say, glass and marinara were everywhere.

Then this guy, Raleigh:

Decided it would be a good idea to lick the pieces of glass free of the marinara sauce.

I decided that instead of making the situation worse in having my dog die from insecurity about being tongueless I distracted him so he would get outside.

The distraction was only so-so in its effectiveness because in the meantime he started jumping and my robe was getting loose...the neighbors might have seen more than they wanted to...I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, now it was time to go back inside and use these:

I started to clean up the mess but then my bathrobe kept plunging itself into the pile of marinara sauce. What was I to do?!?

Yeah, you guessed it, I took off my bathrobe.

So, there I was looking like this:

In the middle of my kitchen cleaning up marinara and glass...attempting to avoid getting glass stuck in my foot but really always getting glass stuck in my foot, while Raleigh, my dog, is jumping up and hitting the back door of the house for me to let him in so I am hearing "BANG! BANG!" about every six seconds.

Then my phone rings. It's my carpool ride. I can't pick up the phone because I am cleaning up marinara off the floor, the cracks of the door, under the bag of dog food, I'm naked, and Raleigh is calling for my attention.

She went to work without me.

but don't hate her...I had a car at my disposal. I decided going green was overrated on Tuesdays.

Needless to say, it was a morning.

I felt like I was Alexander in the middle of his Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Maybe I really should move to Australia.

...until next time...

number: PW...The best day of my LIFE!!!

Yesterday brought a turn of events my friends.

Yesterday I met The Pioneer Woman.

It truly was a happy day.

I awoke with a spring in my step.

I mean it was the day I was going to meet Ree- my blogging best friend!

Please, let me have my moment. It doesn't have to be yours- I live in a different universe where celebrities know my name.

I got to Walmart- the cookbook signing destination- around 5:15 pm.

The book signing started around 6:00 pm when Ree arrived.

I met up with these ladies ^^ right about 5:30 pm.

Lauren is on the left. She and I went to college together and share many hilarious memories with each other. I love her. And she loves the Pioneer Woman just like I do. Needless to say we were ridiculous together. There might have been squealing and sweating involved.

View Lauren's blog here

Ok! Moving on...Melanie is on the right.

I adore Mel. She is one of my closest friends.

Her one flaw is that she does not really dream about Ree Drummond being her bffe.

Melanie doesn't write Ree's name over and over on the cover of her binder.

She doesn't write Ree + Mel = The Coolest Friends Ever on pieces of paper

So, some of you are thinking, "Um, Laura you are not cool. Melanie is cool." Ah! What?! ...You're so right...I think I'm still just a little fat girl inside.

So, our adventure continued as we waited for about an hour and a half til we got to this part right here:

Meeting Marlboro Man! This is Pioneer Woman's husband. He was very nice. He signed my cookbook. It was so fun- as you can tell, Lauren and I are geeking out right about now.

We waited for about another 15-30 minutes to meet this woman right here:

THE PIONEER WOMAN!

There are four things I want you to recognize:

1. The incredibly excited smile on my face- I'm like a kindergartener at recess

2. How gorgeous Ree is- isn't she just beautiful?

3. The Pumpkin Spice Cupcake I brought her from Cupcakes on Kavanaugh- the most delicious cupcakery in Little Rock

4. My skin. It's glowing. Why?! Because I am as pale as a ghost! People asked who Lauren and Melanie's formerly alive friend was. I am running to a tanning salon stat. Cooper, my dermatologist husband, is yelling how I'll end up his poster child for skin cancer. I put in my ear plugs and started running around singing, in which case he stopped to take a video.

I'm the next YouTube sensation.

It's always a party at the Keane house.

Well, folks, I'm back! Hope you're in for the ride!

...until next time...

number: YEEEEE!!!!!

I just met The Pioneer Woman

aka

Ree Drummond.

Let's all take a second to go, "YEEEEE!!!!" How excited am I?!

I just have to say, "It was so fun!"

I have linked over to The Pioneer Woman over there ----->

Check out her award-winning blog- yes, award-winning with a dash. You know you've gone big time when you have to use a dash between words to describe your blog.

I have much to say on this, but for now I must say that I am so glad I got to meet the woman who inspired this incredible blog. She truly is the blogging guru. Okay, not really, but she is very nice. I will explain more. Just know that this meeting involves a cookbook, loads of women, and two friends- one of whom I have barely seen since college.

Stick around my fine fellows and fair ladies! There is more to come.

...until next time...