number: cable television

Yesterday I learned what it would be like to have cable television.

I'm gonna take a moment to answer your mental questions:

• Nope, we sure don't have cable.
• Yes, I kinda wish we did- primarily for two channels- Food Network and Lifetime so I can watch Project Runway. Cooper doesn't seem to think that it's "worth it". Whatever.

Okay, enough question and answers!

So, let's get to how I learned this very important lesson.

Cooper does some side work for this doctor-friend of his in a nearby town.

He had to do some of that said work yesterday, on a Saturday, mind you.

Cooper and I didn't really see each other much this week.

So, I thought, "We should spend time together. I'll go. At least I can talk to him while he works."

Uhhh...

Apparently I forgot that I knew my husband.

Let me tell you how this usually goes:

Cooper turns in to a tornado whirling around and thrashing about in concentration and productiveness when he is focused.

I'm not lying when I say it like watching a large spider build his delicate, strong and fragile web on turbo speed whenever he gets going.

No one can get his attention.

He does not respond to questions.

The entire universe ceases to exist whenever Cooper has a job to do.

So, that left me in the kitchen of the office watching television

all.day.long.

Initially it was fine.

Mike Rowe and I were having a fantastic time- I chuckled a time or two at his semi-witty comments.

After about the first 2 hours of this I became bored.

I needed a different channel of stimulation.

So, I turned to Lifetime.

I watched a trashy, highly emotional movie about some guy who faked his death and then conned some woman into marrying him.

*From this I learned to ask the man you are about to marry some key questions- like if he comes home from a trip with $20,000 and it is wet and he says that he found it at the bottom of a lake- don't believe him. These are lies, people. Lies.*

This is when I started getting nutty.

My brain function began moving slower and slower.

I started laughing at everything Mike Rowe said.

I started enjoying another ridiculous Lifetime movie- as in I wanted to watch it.

I started to believe that I was on television.

That I was the center of this boxed universe.

Then I got irritable.

I started whining and snapping at Cooper to hurry up.

I was tired.

I wanted to go home.

I turned into a too much television watching, cranky, self-absorbed, ridiculously loud, obnoxious woman with only half a brain to try to function on.

*In all seriousness I started slurring my speech.*

So, yesterday is the day I learned that I do not want cable television.

I can go over to other people's houses to watch my shows if need be.

TV Laura is not a Laura I want other people to ever come in contact with.

It was bad, people. Cooper had to tell me several times to get over myself.

So, may this be a lesson to all of you...

Refrain from sitting in front of the television all day.

You will lose brain cells and all sanity.

And you will begin to think that the world around you is some kind of animated full-length feature.

Save yourself. Don't do what I did.

You'll be glad you did.

...until next time...

number: firefly

I think that I'm becoming very sentimental these days.

Maybe it's because school is starting- and I'm not going back.

Maybe it is that fall is coming...I get pensive in the fall.

So, here's a pensive moment I've been having lately:

I've been thinking about the summers and how my sister and I used to travel to Shelbyville, TN

for a week every summer to visit our grandparents.

There we would fatten ourselves on s'mores poptarts, Graddaddy's sugar free ice cream bars, and sit on the couch watching wholesome television like "The Angry Beavers" and "Hey Dude" all while participating in minimal physical exertion- we were like two baby larva growing in size and laziness over a week's time.

*some of you smart mouths are thinking 'fat off sugar free stuff?! you guys must have been really fat!' I will smack that mouth! but seriously, you're right- we totally were. actually, not lindsay...just me. pictures of that to come in the near future*

Besides getting larger in our bellies and our sassiness, I also remember every night Granddaddy & Gradmother would hand us a mason jar with holes poked out in the top of it.

We would then run around the yard chasing any flickering light that passed us. This was to give us our "physical activity" for the day since we were two little lard buckets.

*One time Lindsay got really into it and chased a car down the road thinking it was a large firefly.

She's very pretty. Just not the brightest firefly if you get what I mean.*

I totally just lied. That never happened.

I love those memories. We would run around the yard hoping that maybe this time we would

catch enough fireflies to be our night light. Or maybe they could be our pets. Or maybe we

could keep them FOREVER!!!

*I know, shocker: my sister and I were dramatic children.*

Grandmother and Granddaddy would patiently explain to us that the fireflies would not make it in the jar. We had to set them free. So, we did.

Grandmother would always say things like, "Don't you want to let them free and see how pretty they are outside of the jar?"

Honestly, I did not.

I thought, "Hey lady, I just ran around the yard for this!"

*I told you, sassy.*

I wanted my fireflies in my jar.

But in actuality she was right, they were just as beautiful outside of the jar as they were inside of it.

I must say every time I see a firefly I think of my grandparents and Shelbyville.

The change of summer to fall does always make me a little sad and apprehensive.

Maybe it is because I am growing up and it is apparently obvious at this time of year.

Or maybe it is because I miss my grandparents terribly and the fireflies are a way I can still think of and love their memory.

I'm tellin' you guys...pensive...what will we do?!

But a little pensiveness never hurt anybody...right?

...until next time...

number: the hubs birthday

This is Cooper.

He is my husband.

His birthday is September 11th.

*I know, I know...*

So, in lieu of the obvious memory that comes to mind I would like to make his birthday extra special this year.

Here's the thing: whenever I ask him what he wants he just tells me,

"I need some new pants for work- that's all I need"

He also says things like,

"I don't want anything, I have you!"

Aaaaannnddd that's sweet.

Really, it's very sweet.

I'm a very lucky girl.

But, selfishly, it definitely does not help me pick out a birthday present for him.

So, I want you guys to help me out with this!

If you look to the right of this post you will see a poll-

And I want you to vote!

*A poll! Just like I promised in my last post! I'm no liar.*

Vote so I know what to do for my hubby!

After all...How can you deny this face?

...until next time...

number: the lake

It's August. And the weather is awesome!

*For those of you just tuning in to weather trends, August is not usually the month for awesome weather*

Yesterday Cooper and I decided that we needed to get out of the house and go to the lake!

So, we invited another couple, Justin and Claire, to come along with us.

*We also invited another couple to come with us but they declined. Whatever. I'm so over it*

We borrowed a pontoon boat from one of Cooper's friends.

We then put the tube behind it.

Let's just say pontoon boats are not the same as ski boats.

But never fear! There was still a lot of fun to be had...and the slower speed allowed us to invent some very fun *and somewhat dangerous* tricks on the tube.

Here's the evidence of the good time had by all:

*please do not judge my pale-ness. i'm married to a dermatologist folks. he keeps me hidden from the sun. Justin asks that you not judge his farmer's tan.*

I will note that poor Claire could never get her tiny self standing on that tube.

Her little legs just couldn't get her up there.

Bless her heart.

That's all for right now, y'all!

Tune in next time...I think I'm gonna have a poll for you all to fill out.

I know, exciting. But you're just gonna have to wait!

...until next time...